BECOMING A FRIEND FAQs
(Frequently Asked Questions)
Birthmothers Friends are the lifeblood of our ministry. Potential
volunteers often ask us what it means to serve in this capacity.
Q: How do you find volunteers to become
Birthmothers Friends?
A: Many people are surprised to learn that we don’t
actively recruit. Potential Friends find out about us on the web,
through their churches or through acquaintances. Each one has
a personal reason for her interest, and contacts us to find out
how she can get involved. At any one time, we have 50-60 volunteers
waiting to be trained.
Q: I don’t have any counseling experience.
May I still become a Friend?
A: Of course! Birth moms’ number one need is for
someone to listen. We’ll give you tools you can use to be
a compassionate listener, no matter what your confidence level
or skills are right now.
Q: Does being a Friend take a lot of time?
A: It’s up to you to decide. One benefit of being
a Friend is that you can meet with your birth mom at your convenience,
and at a place that suits you both. You can also support her through
phone and e-mail. Many of our Friends are moms of young children,
working women or parents of teenagers.
Q: How do you screen candidates?
A: We have an Orientation Meeting with four to six potential
Friends. The group is purposely small to facilitate intimacy.
President Jim Wright outlines Birthmothers’ mission and
tells the story of why he started the ministry. Then, each candidate
has the opportunity to explain her interest in Birthmothers.
Many have placed a baby for adoption themselves, have experienced
abortion, have been abused, have struggled to conceive, have their
own adopted children or simply have a heart for those in difficult
circumstances. Sharing their experiences in an atmosphere of love
and acceptance brings participants release — especially
when they realize that they can use those experiences to help
other women. Tears, hugs and affirmation are common during Orientation.
Afterwards, Jim asks candidates to consider whether or not they
feel called to this line of service. He encourages them to pray
about their potential role, and tells them to contact Birthmothers
within the next week with their decision.
Q: How does a volunteer proceed if she
feels called to be a Friend?
A: She is scheduled to attend Training.
Q: How is Training different than Orientation?
A: Orientation helps a candidate find out if her heart
is in the ministry. Training equips her with practical tools to
be a Friend.
Q: Explain what happens at Training.
A: Volunteers receive a special Training Manual. Birthmothers'
staff lead volunteers step-by-step through learning how to be
a Friend: engaging the birth mom, listening and responding empathically,
practicing spiritual care, sharing faith, connecting to community
resources and handling crises. We make a special point to help
Friends understand the different kinds of adoption options that
are available, so they can explain these clearly to birth moms.
At the conclusion of Training, volunteers complete an information
inventory and sign a Friend’s Pledge. We give them a certificate
and Birthmothers pin, and welcome them as new Friends.
Q: How do volunteers respond to Training?
A: They’re surprised that there’s so much information
and support a Friend can offer – and they’re excited
about getting started.
Q: When are new Friends matched with a
birth mom?
A: As soon as there is a need. Friends and birth moms are
matched based on geographical proximity, background and, if possible,
personality traits.
Q: Are all Friends women?
A: No. We have a number of men who train as Friends to
provide encouragement to birth dads involved in a crisis pregnancy.
Q: Do Friends receive any kind of ongoing
support?
A: Absolutely. While ministering to birth moms, volunteer
Friends frequently check in with Birthmothers’ staff for
help, ideas and guidance. Local Church Teams and Birthmothers’
Circle of Prayers (monthly prayer meetings) support Friends in
prayer. Birthmothers also provides periodic in-service trainings,
so that Friends stay current with information about pregnancy,
childbirth, services, resources and issues associated with expectant
women and their families.
Friends tell us that the support they receive as they minister
to women in crisis pregnancies plays a big part in making the
experience rewarding and fulfilling. They are on the front lines,
and we do everything we can to make their ministry successful.
Interested in becoming a Birthmothers Friend? Contact Ministry
Director Amy Hataway at (703) 241-4515 or ahataway@birthmothers.org.
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